i feel bad that i have lost all my photos.
so kat left the country again, without even answering my good luck messages, much less actually sending the photos i’ve been hoping for. i’ve already ranted about it, but she’s gone and that’s that. maybe in a year or two, when she’s deleted some more, i’ll get my hands on a few.
i did get my hands on some programs that say they resurrect deleted files from computers, though their promise is dubious after all this time and computer use; the first one i tried only found photos i still have, and stuff that has been collected from everywhere i’ve been on the net. good to know what junk i’m picking up, but it’s not what i’m after. i’ll try my luck at another program soon.
i have been unsuccessful in even meeting up with michael, who i met in vietnam and ran into again at mardi gras, let alone propose getting any of his photos off him – tdue to his inability to deal with last minute arrangements, or rain, which i feel are contradictory in a rainy season like this. and of course my own diffidence at making arrangements. and his preference for after work, precisely the time that i’m busy at NewQ practically every evening.
other travellers’ email addresses float in and out of my life making me guilty for not trying to contact them. most of the photos i have from my first trip, i found on the net anyway; it was a large operation to find them, but i should be able to do it. only the roll of film in the camera i lost between helsinki and copenhagn is really gone: even the roll and a half i took on disposables between copenhagen and prague are likely to be in my bag, at uncontactable salim’s house, somewhere an hour south of prague. in some ways this makes it harder, i can’t let go. i have put in considerable effort to reclaiming these images, though more could be done, and nothing is forthcoming.
some of the other lost bits of my mind are returning to me. someone has had the final cd of the alternative calendar 2002 for some years now; last night it was returned to me through someone else. it looks a bit scratched up and i’m afraid to put it in a computer, but i can put that bit of my mind to rest – just as the memory was settling in to the faint unease of knowing one of my important cds was out there somewhere relying on someone flaky to get home – but not remembering exactly which one it was. i think the contents of the musc computer circa 2001 is still out there, as is the whole bag at salim’s. wow, the list has shortened! the rest of it includes several amounts of money, including the bills that someone tried to pay when i had already left the country, and ended up giving to the russian department because all she could remember about me was that i had studied russian – which said department remembers but can’t find. at least the most substantial amount, the bond from my last house, is finally paid in full. that’s another bit of my mind no longer wandering the world, and a friendship i can hopefully start to repair.