breaking down the bloodclots

October 16, 2007 at 10:31 am (simple pleasures)

i got up the courage to say hi to my ex, last time i saw her online. my ‘hello’ was answered with ‘hello?’ which is just what i would expect these days, from the person who can start an email to me with ‘i’ve been deleting lots of photos of you recently’. i ignored whatever inference she was making and we actually managed a pleasant conversation.

my ‘ex friend’ also got in touch yesterday to ask for my forwarding address, and with some prompting by return email, she managed the niceties, such as hoping i’m well. it’s not much, but more than i was expecting; after eight years of stormy friendship she had recently sent me a rather nasty breakup letter out of the blue, to which i never quite managed to reply. maybe that was the right thing to do.

it feels good to be on reasonable terms again. i don’t need to have much to do with either of them, indeed there are good reasons not to let either of them too far into my life again, but why have bad blood between people? it’s not an absence of friendship, but an active negation of it, and rudeness. bloodclots which can’t be ignored. now, even if i don’t ever speak to either of them, i don’t have to feel bad about it, they can join the category of acquaintances along with everyone else, and stop negatively affecting my life for no reason. and hopefully, if i ever do feel like saying hi, or forwarding an email, it will no longer be a federal case, or even something to be apprehensive of.

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1 Comment

  1. Anna Aniston said,

    I hate feeling guilty about wanting to contact someone… though it seems to happen often :(`

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