so endeth another fun night of feeling sick in the stomach, lightheaded and a little shaky because of someone else’s words and actions and lack thereof. the day had been all good. how many nights have ended thus? do i want to remember? to feel powerless in a pattern, to be a person who can be multiply betrayed, but maybe find something to change? or do i want to let them slip by, fortifying myself slightly for future transgressions by minimising each one? i cannot minimise enough to stop the pain. here come the question marks again.