thursday: she announces she’s meeting her mother after five and not staying over. i took her to the cafe and we arranged we wouldn’t meet till tango class on sunday, then the three of us would meet up to plan the week together. i couldn’t ask for her to stay over sunday night; we’d have to arrange that then. we needed to talk: i was instructed to ring friday between five and six pm.
friday: two acrimonious 45 minute chat conversations as i pleaded her to talk to mim about the cat, rather than using me as a go between. still chatting at 6. i ring anyway, still bad. shes getting lost on public transport. has to go, says she’ll ring back. never does.
saturday: meela and daniel weekend, according to the calendar. it was put up when she was desparate to keep him and he was being controlling, manipulative and downright abusive. it stayed up even after i’d defended her to him and he’d said it wasn’t his idea. friday night to sunday afternoon just before tango. with an addition of meela and daniel lunch, across the first half of the class. i had to assume it was careless placement… still, i expected she’d be contactable to arrange a little matter of how we’re meeting on sunday.
12.46 sms from me: Is today on? Any arrangements?
2.52 email from me: so what are the arrangements for this afternoon? we haven’t made any.
8.12 sms from me: Are you ok?
8.30 sms from meela: Yes. Having Meela time without the phone. Thanks for asking.
8.31 sms from me: Then umm what’s with standing me up again?
8.33 sms from meela: You said we didn’t make plans.
8.34 sms from me: What? We had plans to dance and to talk about planning. We didn’t plan how.
me: are you there?
me: ah. have you been online all weekend?
I have been out
8:44 PM All weekend
Meela: Because I needed to be out and do things for myself. See my family, do some art. Think.
8:45 PM me: make apologies for standing arrangements you’re not going to make?
8:48 PM are you answering?
8:50 PM so does this mean, since the talking appears to have been cancelled, that no arrangements are going to be made ever again?
8:53 PM please write something, or ring me
Meela: I need space.
me: right now?
Meela: Right now.
me: all the space you want.