well it’s been over a week, and i feel good. i’ve had a whole whole week, including a whole sunday, not waiting on meela. wait, no, it was on sunday night that there was a crisis and meela was required and i was required to find her, and a few of us sat around waiting for her to eventually show up. still, she was not two hours late, and though i was apprehensive before seeing her for the first time, i didn’t get any untoward blender sensations, and it was all just fine. we were busy.
anyway, i’ve seen six friends who i never would’ve managed to see before, and all of them turned up, where and when they were expected. everyone has been more than lovely to me, and i realise what wonderful people i have around, and that they care about me. all i had to do was open up.
concentrating on work is still a bit harder even than usual, when i’m finally on my own, and i guess i’ll have to figure out more of it by myself than i was doing, too. luckily i’ve had a small lull in exams this week, which has been pleasant, but really should’ve been used for getting into the next lot of work, rather than taking a break from even my to do lists.
so now, before i get down to work, it’s time to figure out what i want again, where i’d like to head now that i’m striking off into a new life again. i’m looking to starting a two day a week acoustics job in january, and i think i want that to happen. then, if the timetabling works out, i’ll finish my diploma part time, hopefully fitting in the welding and the noise and vibration subject, but leaving the decision till later on whether to pursue the advanced diploma. if next semester works nicely, i’ll probably continue part time. that should leave me with some time for a fun course, maybe casting and moulding, if there’s anything nice around that concentrates on plastics, not just metals, which i’ll need equipment for, that would be hard to access past the end of the course. maybe the silk flower making course is running again, maybe i can find something nice on corsetry. i’m thinking things i’ve already played with, and have some use for, rather than completely new fields. i probably have enough of them under my belt. whether or not i do a course, i want to master silicone, and i want to sell more of my stuff at the newtown markets.
i want to put more effort into newq, and make it work to a point where i don’t feel guilty or overworked, and other people can do things easily without me being relied on to do something else first. systems need to be set up, and projects followed through. it’s getting started, and i’ve been pushing it, since i seem to have gotten out of the fog of hopelessness about the place, and can see a future for it. summer is coming, and with it increased activity and the possibility of new people.
i want to stay living at my house, i want to dumpster more and have food around. i want to have a few more agreements about things, and to ride out the changeover when people leave, as it seems they might. i’ll have to get it together to sort out the finances and get back the money people unfortunately owe me, but i don’t want to be the one to drive the rest of the house stuff. there are limits.
i think i want to stick around at the tafe students’ association now that i’ve learnt how to interact with them a bit better, though if i end up at another campus next year, i’d very much consider getting involved there rather than at ultimo. i think i want to ditch the secular party, as promising as they started out, but i’ll watch them through the election and see what i think. i want to do something new with atheism, since everything that’s happening through this atheistic publishing surge is about old men, but i’m not sure what. maybe i’ll resurrect that old research idea – it still needs doing.
i want to see my friends, and whilst i want to go out and be sociable, i also want to be a bit choosy and go out to events that will be worth the late nights. i want to get enough sleep.
and while it’s entirely possible that i’ll fall in curiosity, at least, with the next girl i dance with, i’m really looking forward to some time on my own. single. i remember fondly that nice settled time at the end of last year, after coming back to sydney alone, before people came along and made my life more, well… interesting. i think my life is interesting enough already.